he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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