Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
