Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
