Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
