Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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