Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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