Your mouth is God's brothel.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Randomize
