She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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