i think my tv is drunk
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
as a side note pls kill me
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
