im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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