how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
