went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
