Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
