how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
