I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
