please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
