Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
