dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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