Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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