you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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