Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
