Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
love makes seman taste better
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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