Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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