what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
