Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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