I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
