you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Vodka?
Forever.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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