Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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