I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
