We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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