I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
