The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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