Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
