I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
