Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
