butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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