i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
