i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We had to coat check the pizza.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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