i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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