I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
