i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Randomize
