Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
