just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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