I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
