there was a trapeze. enough said
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
