I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
