Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize