oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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