He kissed a someone with a penis
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
