I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
