You're my little dorito
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
