Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
